yeah, so | msterling45's Blog

Once you learn to love yourself, you won't care if you're alone.

i know that i'm not alone, online - however, i can't hug, cry with, make love to, cuddle with, or physically talk to any of you though...and that is where my problem lies

You aren't alone in your pain. I am feeling the very same way. I know how desperate you are for physical contact. It hurts. Physically and emotionally. But you will be okay.

You have to have at least one friend to hug and cry with, right? As for a significant other, they'll come when you get to a place where you can love being with just yourself.

you better stop by my place on your way to jessie's too!! :)

oh I know that feeling well.. very well.. it has only been a couple years since I have found paulo. The world was such a dark and lonely place before him and I didnt think I would ever find anyone who would want me, care for me, want to be with me, etc.... my ex fiance almost destroyed me. I have not told many people this but I almost did it. When I had found out that he had been cheating on me for two years, lied to me, never actually loved me, used me, I was broken and lost. I have never before, or ever after, felt like that. I walked out into the ocean. The water was to my waist before I truly understood what I was doing. And I almost didnt stop. I had never felt so alone or lost. My family all had their things, lives, whatever.... and I had nothing. I allowed that to almost defeat me. But, I am stubborn and vengenful. lol. I decided there and then that I would live. I would like and i would spite him. When the time was right, cause I was not ready for anyone at that point, my someone would find me. He did find me, a strange set of circumstances too, and he has helped me so much. My point my dear friend is there is someone out there... but you are not quite ready. You need to find something inside yourself before you can have that beautiful thing. You have to, and it will sound so corny, love yourself before you can love anyone else truly. You have to accept who and what you are and be happy with that. No one can really complete you per se..... they can blend with you, make you more then you could be apart, but we make who we are.... Im sorry if I made no sense... let me know if you understand... and please... dont leave me or us...

how do you learn to love yourself? when i look at myself, all i see are problems

oh I still see problems... there are a lot of things I dont like about me... but I have learned to accept that no one can be perfect.. ever... I accept that I have flaws... I accept that there are some things that I am good at. I leaned on a couple of people who would listen to me. I made myself talk to them. I made them listen.. lol.. I went out and got a new job, met new people. I found a friend who helped pull me back from that abyss... it was a very close call... very close.. I believe in God, not sure you do, and I believe that he sent that person to me. I know if it was not for him, I would be someone I hated... not someone I accept and love even with the flaws... It took someone outside of the family, friends, etc... to make me see this... join a group of something you like and meet people.. get to know them... we meet people for reasons ....

i believe that g*d wants me to do this alone, wants me to fix my broken self alone

nope.. never... we always meet people who help us along the way.. we just cant see it when its happening (human short sightedness prehaps????) but later, looking back... we see it for what it was... A lot of people here care for you, me for one, and no one wants you in pain.. any kind of pain... any of us would take all that hurt from you in a heartbeat if it was possible... sadly, it isnt... So, we will do the next best thing.. *hug* I know its not as good but its the best I can do right now...... if you do visit Jessie... I wanna be in on the party too... :)