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I spent a little time last night getting caught up on what a few of my friends were doing and I got to one of Nora's blogs and stopped.   Nora, you said that you think that people are basically good.   I've been wrestling with that concept for several months now and I think that I have to disagree with you.   People are basically not good.   People are basically small, petty, selfish, self-centered, arrogant and cruel.    Something has to happen for people to want to be good, and whatever that something is simply hasn't happened for most people yet.   That's why the world is in such terrible shape.

I try to be a good person.   I try to be kind and generous and treat people fairly and with respect.   But it is an effort, it's something I have to work at every day.    I have to remind myself every day of who I'm trying to be and what I'm trying to accomplish.   I'm not a good person for the warm fuzzy feeling that comes with doing good things because, outside of EP, there is no warm fuzzy feeling.    I'm not just generous with people here, it's an intrinsic part of my personality and outside of EP everyone has reacted to me the same way DB did--with cold indifference.   Why?   Because goodness is a characteristic only admired from afar.    Up close, it looks like weakness.    Goodness is not it's own reward, it's something that will be punished repeatedly and harshly.

The question I've been asking myself for the past few months is, is it really worth it?    Is being good to people really worth the effort I put into it?    In the past the answer has always come back a resounding yes.     Not anymore.   I'm seriously starting to question my basic value system.   I've never been concerned with "karma" and good karma coming back to me, my only concern has been making a difference while I'm here.    But I'm starting to realize that that's just not possible.   The enormous amount of cold indifference in the world cannot be overcome with a few tiny random acts of kindness.    It takes a large amout of people to make a difference, and those numbers just aren't there.    It's so much easier to be lazy and feel entitled than it is to put in the hard work and actually make a difference, so why bother?

So, my Dear Nora, please reconsider before it's too late.    The only way to true happiness is to go out and treat the world like the cesspool it is and only show kindness to those who have proven their worth in advance.   Sad as it is, I have a lifetime of evidence that says that's the only option.


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Posted on 10:53AM on Jul 6th, 2009
Honey, I've just popped back in to check on you, and found this last comment that you posted here. I really, REALLY hope that you don't think I'm advocating that you shut off from the world - that's not it at all. That kind of talk really worries me. :( If you have poisonous people in your life, whom you need to get rid of - then by all means do so. But replace them with loving and supporting friends (even if the only friend you have to begin with is yourself). You are a wonderful, warm, caring woman - and if you give positive energy out to the world I still firmly believe that eventually (eventually!) it does get reflected back. Call that karma or whatever you will - it's just part of human nature that we want to stick around with other people who make us feel good too. If you're not giving yourself that much respect (to only expend your time and energies on people who make you feel good), then that's a new contract that you need to draw up with yourself... You can't expect to overcome all of the horrible parts of humanity all by yourself - but it's not your responsibility to try and save the world! Don't waste your time on trying to save people who don't want to be saved. Focus instead on the one thing that you can control: yourself. If the people around you can't see the good in you, at least see the good in yourself - promise me that... Then, once you've got that self-respect going for you, everyone who wants to take you for granted can go f**k themselves! You're awesome, and we don't want you to go away: we want to see you shine. :)
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